I hoped it wouldn’t happen again, but it did. And this breakdown should’ve been the last. It left me broken and confused. Yesterday, barely able to move, I put on Jeremy Camp’s album We Cry Out: The Worship Project (2010). While I searched for answers I realised that no matter the answer, it wouldn’t help me now. What I need to do now is rebuild, and the next song, Not Ashamed told me exactly what the foundation is.

You are the fullness of the beauty I seek,
You are, You are,
You are the healer of the broken and weak,
You are, You are,

Even though few may stand and proclaim,
Your great name,
It’s the life I want to live,
I’m convinced, there is none like You…

I’m not ashamed of the Gospel,
I’m not ashamed of Jesus Christ,
I will stand and boldly say,
This is my life.

I need to start with Christ and build on Him, because I want to boldly say this is my life.

You are the author of salvation and faith,
You are, You are,
You are the victory that conquered the grave,
You are, You are,

Also, since this week is big, I’m going to reference other songs on We Cry Out: The Worship Project. Listening to it, I feel an appropriate title for the the album is You Are. That phase occurs in a number of songs (The Way, You Are The Lord, Everlasting God, You Never Let Go, Unrestrained and King Jesus) and could apply to a few more, eg. (You Are) Mighty To Save, We Cry Out (Because You Are).

Last time I broke this bad, I’m not sure I was fully better after two years. so I wonder how long this will take. But I know I will Overcome, by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.

Alone I am always unstable, always fearful, always volatile and always suicidal. But Christ covers all that. And because He is Mighty To Save, I surrender.

Not Ashamed – Jeremy Camp